Losing Izabella

Izabella

A lot has happened since my last post back in November, a new job, the holidays and new personal goals are among some of the reasons I haven't blogged lately. But far and away the biggest reason is that a very good friend, Izabella, became seriously ill and suddenly passed away on Monday January 12th, the day before the 5-year anniversary of the loss of my first husband Stephen.

I can't describe adequately here how much her sudden loss shook me to the core. I had been privileged to be her friend for many years, but also to be present with her on her journey from illness, to diagnosis, to treatment. We were both confident that although her battle would be hard and exhausting, she would win it. She would win it because she wanted to and she would win it because she had to. Izabella wanted to continue to see where life would take her and she absolutely wanted to continue to be fully present in the lives of her sons. She did not want to leave them since like me, she was a widow, and they had lost their father just 5 years earlier.

In the days since her death, thoughts of Izabella continue. Fond memories mostly, but also wondering if there was more that I could have done to help her. I remembered back a few years to the times that we got together for lunch at a diner or local restaurant or participated together in widow/widower gatherings. We talked and talked, and often ran out of time. We learned we had a lot in common...of course, we were both widows, but we were also both born outside the USA, we were both professional women, we both had an interest in eating healthy and enjoyed the outdoors (Izabella loved hiking, I loved running), one of Izabella's sons and my son were around the same age and we liked people who were great thinkers and who were not intellectually lazy. These shared interests and similarities meant that as the years went by, our friendship grew from a small seed into something stronger.

During Izabella's illness, our friendship became even stronger. I was there for her, and she for me. Even though she was dealing with a life-altering diagnosis, she still made time to inquire how my professional career was going, how I was doing in meeting other personal goals and even listened to me when I shared petty issues in my life. That is who she was - a truly caring person. She had all the reason in the world to be self-focused and she wasn't. I truly admire that about her.

A week or so before Izabella died she said "Lisa, I need you in my corner." I reassured her I was right there...and I still am, willing to honor our friendship by helping her sons and family should they need it.

Farewell Izabella, I miss you deeply dear friend.